1 find the cat
2: thing that you don't tell your wife or girl friend!
2.1 ) On my mother in law birthday i decide to brought her an plot in the grave yard. with her next birthday i brought nothing. so she ask me where her preset is and i reply: Because you did not used last years present yet!!!
2.2) At my school reunion my wife keep on looking at one man drinking heavily. I ask her do she know him and she replied: yes he is my x. he start drinking right after we broke up and haven't stop sins. I look at the man and say: well how would knew that he can celebrate the broke up for that long!
2.3) When my lawn mower broke my wife keeps on nagging me to fix it. but i am a busy man. always something more in portent to do the fix the mower. you know like watching football or go fishing etc.
so she thought out n plan. she took the kitchen scissors and start trimming t he Grass. when i got home i look at her effort and bring her n tooth brush and said when she is done she can sweep the drive way then she is done. Doctor said i Will heal up good but will walk with n limp for the rest of my life!
2.4) My wife come and sit next to me while i am skipping thou the TV channels. she ask me what's on TV and replay : dust. still n bit sore when i try to talk.
2.5) my wife was dropping hint when your anniversary was near that she wants some ting shiny than can go from 0 to 200 in 3 sec. So i brought her n stainless steel bath room scale!
2.6) my wife stands naked in front of the mirror and complains about how she looks: i am fat, i have wrinkles and full of stretch marks! she turns to me and ask me give her n compliment so she can feel better about hers elf. so i told her: you have excellent eye sight my dear! i still can see with my right eye!
No offence ladies my girl will ring my neck if i do any of the stuff
have some laughs! its better than being pissed off!
