Joke thread

[[]DeadWeight]

I've found this on another forum, and after getting up from the floor, I had to share it with you guys:

MY LAST TRIP TO SAM'S
 
Yesterday I was  at my local SAM'S buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,  Wally, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me  asked if I had a dog.
 
What did she  think I had - an elephant? So since I'm retired and  have little to do,  on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the  Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in  the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an  intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in  both arms.
 
I told her that  it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load  your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or  two          every time you  feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was  going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in  line was now enthralled with my story.)
 
Horrified, she  asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned  me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's  ass and a car hit me.
 
I thought the guy  behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
 
SAM'S won't  let  me shop there anymore.

[[NRNS]Xodix]

hahahahahahahaha.....omg ..........awsum dead
btw how u manage to write this

[[]DeadWeight]

hahahahahahahaha.....omg ..........awsum dead
btw how u manage to write this

I've copied and paste it from a thread in another forum.
To copy, I've highlighted the test whislt dragging my mouse over it with the left button pressed down and then I pressed CRT-C on the keyboard.
To Paste, I've left click on the post and then pressed CTRL-V on the keyboard.
They are hidden windows functions (not the same on a Mac).
Glad that you've enjoyed the joke.

Cheers!!

[[RoadRunner]

mmmmm You sure that not the reason you changed pet stores??

I can hear you saying that holding a straight face LMAO


Miss ya mate

[[NRNS]Xodix]

hahahahahahahaha.....omg ..........awsum dead
btw how u manage to write this

I've copied and paste it from a thread in another forum.
To copy, I've highlighted the test whislt dragging my mouse over it with the left button pressed down and then I pressed CRT-C on the keyboard.
To Paste, I've left click on the post and then pressed CTRL-V on the keyboard.
They are hidden windows functions (not the same on a Mac).
Glad that you've enjoyed the joke.

Cheers!!

Ahhh y i always forgot the power of COPY and PASTE

[[]DeadWeight]

mmmmm You sure that not the reason you changed pet stores??

I can hear you saying that holding a straight face LMAO

I was telling the kids that I would probably come up with a similar story if I was in "one of those moods"...

Yes, I miss you too, I wish I had some free time, may try to call you from work tomorrow.